A Visionary Year Ahead

Those of you who have been reading my blog know how much I love the word (and concept of) practice. Another word (and concept) I love is visualization. It has been immensely helpful to me in my behavior regarding personal discipline and interactions with others. I know that prevailing wisdom in setting New Year’s resolutions is to be specific. I do better when I’m vague. This year I’m going to focus on envisioning what I want of myself and visualizing the steps required to get myself there.

To me, visualizing is practicing for something in my mind. It’s giving myself scripts and trying them out in imaginary conversations or confrontations. It’s seeing myself stepping back and assessing rather than reacting. It’s low-level dreaming when my mind can come up with constructive scenarios and I can interact with impunity and see what could possibly work and what I should never, ever try in reality. Like in my dreams, I get feelings from visualizations that tell me whether this reaction or that response comes from my soul or from a part of me that is a fleshly concoction of the world.

Visualization helped me run the 10-kilometer bridge run in the autumn. Visualization helps pick up the phone and (knowing I’ll have to use my extremely limited Russian) call a local restaurant or shop to see if they have something I want. Visualization helps me plan my days. When I have tasks I don’t want to do – clean the house and exercise, for example – I see myself doing them, then I see myself finishing them and feeling the relief at having accomplished them and how little time it took. Then I visualize my reward – enjoying a book or a favorite meal, for instance.

I’ve been keeping good company here in Vladivostok, including four sisters from the 

Catholic church where I sing. Sometimes when I’m out about town alone, I wonder how differently I’d behave if I had to dress as they do – robed, with my head covered – obviously marked as a woman of God. I would want a pleasant, approachable look on my face, so I turn up the corners of my mouth and make eye contact with passersby. (Make a note for readers to read the blog about Alexei.) I would want something to give the beggars on the street – a granola bar is easy to carry and nutritious. Alice, my neighbor, is another good influence on me. When we take a taxi anywhere she chats up the driver, exercising her Russian skills. Having seen her doing this, I, too, engage drivers in conversation no matter how awkward it is. Alice’s car arrived before ours did. When she got it, she announced that if anyone wanted a ride anywhere to ask her so she could learn her way around. I don’t like driving and it intimidates me. But, with her example, I started seeing myself getting out and driving no matter how uncomfortable it made me. I drove our car and filled it up with gas before Douglas drove it. While a small thing to many (like Alice), this was huge for me. And it started with someone setting a good example and me wanting to emulate it. That, to me, is a form of visualization.

I have been writing for years. I’ve completed one novel and am hip deep in two more. (I’m a slow and, these days, undisciplined writer.) I envision myself with three agent-ready manuscripts and a collection of short stories begun. So I will visualize myself making daily progress whether in the form of taking notes as ideas occur to me (something that helped me greatly with The Dream Interpreter), writing a scene or free-writing. I will visualize myself writing at my computer in my writing room or on my laptop or pad of paper in a restaurant. I will remember (see myself) how I walked up the stairs to my writing room in Munich every day and sat for two hours and worked. Some days I actively wrote, others I spent some of the time reading for inspiration, but it worked.

I have good opportunity here for musical growth. I’m singing in two choirs and might soon begin piano lessons. I have a harp that was gifted to me; Sister Maria Stella from the church plays harp and is happy to occasionally help me. I have a new recorder – a Christmas gift from Douglas; all the sisters play recorders. I have long envied talented musicians. I’m envisioning myself walking into rehearsals knowing the music well enough to not be the reason (or contribute to the reason) the conductor stopped us and reviewed notes in the soprano section. I’m envisioning myself knowing the recorder fingering well enough to sight-read better. I’m envisioning myself knowing a few songs on the harp that I can play and sing.

I can hear this voice in my head saying, all this visualization stuff sounds nice, but you have to do something. True. And if I don't do anything, than it won't amount to much. I know that. But I also know that visualization gets me excited about accomplishing whatever it is whether it's a behavior or a project. Visualization helps allay anxiety. Visualization can save time; when I've visualized all the required steps, I can go through the motions without as much thought and decision-making. And, as I already pointed out, it's a form of practice.

Now, I’m going to envision my comments section filling up with comments from my readers – all nine or so of you. Many bloggers write extreme ideas to shock and provoke comments. I don't do that. I don't think I do that, anyway. I want more of a sharing experience, a cooperative environment. Your comments can be positive or negative – I learn from both. They can be suggestions for ideas I can write about in the future. They can be your own version of what I just wrote about. You can back me up or respectfully disagree. But help me fulfill this visualization and fill up my comment section!