Why I’m Grateful for Donald Trump

This morning I was watching CNN in the aftermath of the “debate”. (I use quotes because as I understand rules of debate, these “debates” don’t go by them.) Carly Fiorina was asked to comment on Donald Trump’s persona. Donald Trump’s reaction to her being asked this was to look at the camera, give a little shrug and let go a monkey-like “Ooh.” Carly Fiorina responded, “You know, it’s interesting. Mr. Trump said he heard Mr. Bush clearly and what Mr. Bush said. I think women all over this country heard very clearly what Mr. Trump said.” Donald Trump’s reaction to this was, a smirk-like smile and “I think she’s got a beautiful face and she’s a beautiful woman.”

The point has been made already that no one comments about what male presidential candidate’s look like. The exception to this would be body language and Donald Trump’s hair which has long been a joke unconnected with his running for President. Of course any woman will be judged in part by her looks regardless of what she’s doing because society is so biased and unashamedly stuck on what women look like. People tend to pick on males on this issue, I’m going to focus on women instead. Women support keeping themselves in this base sexual role every day. Women support it whenever they go to a movie with nudity since the nudity is female unless it’s someone’s back end. When nudity is a male’s back end chances are it’s comic relief. I almost broke down the other night to watch “Wild” with Reese Witherspoon. There was nudity in it. The warning said that a female was lying on a bed naked, or bare chested I think, then rolled over facing a mirror in which she was reflected. I almost watched it because apparently there is male nudity in it, too, “from a distance.” First of all, why is it overwhelmingly female nudity in movies and advertisements? Secondly why show the man from a distance? Do we want men to be ashamed of what they look like? Do we want women to continue to live with others expecting them to be judged by what they look like in every way? How can anyone make sense of wanting equal treatment while they are willing to regularly support women being kept in the subservient role of sex toy? Maybe Donald Trump’s foul behavior will bring this to light and open discussion. 

I have heard Donald Trump say nothing of substance. What I mean is I have not heard him say specifically what needs to be done with the problem of immigration, for example. I heard a supporter say that Donald Trump sees the need for a wall built on our border. Perhaps he did say that. There was a day when I would have jumped on that bandwagon shouting, “Build that wall! Build that wall!” Today I only have images of China’s wall and Germany’s wall. Different, I know, but sad. Donald Trump says he has the solution to ISIL, but he won’t share it. Of course this makes people wonder if he really has a solution. It makes others wonder why someone who puts himself out as one who loves his country would keep this a secret. Why would he sit back silent while more people die rather than sharing it so it can be implemented and we can end this suffering and terror? It makes me think that Donald Trump sees himself and his personal agenda as more important than implementing this supposed solution.

More disturbing than his behavior is the number of people who support him, the number of people who want him to be the face of America on the world stage. God help us. I've heard it said that Donald Trump says things that Americans need to hear. That may be true, but to revert to third grade and call names and to smirk and make goggly eyes while others are speaking isn't a respectful, intelligent, civilized way to do it.

I once wrote that we need to learn how to disagree, how to argue respectfully. It would help if these debates were truly run as debates as I understand them – people speaking in turn one at a time. Donald Trump’s behavior is bringing this to the forefront of my mind again. I have lost a family member and two friends because they will not discuss our differences with me. That’s sad. If a friend refuses to discuss something uncomfortable, how can they ever expect others to employ diplomacy? If their idea of a solution to differences is to avoid contact, how can we ever bridge cultural differences? Perhaps Donald Trumps abominable behavior will bring this to light.

Please, my few readers (I think there are about nine now) this must start somewhere. I’m going to use one of my favorite words: we must practice civil argument. In order to practice this, we must engage in it. I don’t mean picking fights, I mean not shying away when we don’t see eye to eye with someone. Ask them how they came to their beliefs. Be ready to tell someone how you came to your beliefs. If it’s hard to put into words, tell them that. Tell them you need tine to formulate your thoughts into words then walk away and do it. If you don't know how to, think of someone who is good at it and ask them how they do it. Ask them to help you A good debater can formulate thoughts and ideas for either side of an issue. When someone has a difficult time defending their position and putting into words how they came to their beliefs, be quiet and give them time – silence – to share it with you. Let’s love each other and our society enough to do this. Please.

My Personal Pool of Bethesda

I returned to the States with a bit of apprehension. You see I have a volatile relationship with food. I fairly obsess over it. (I'm lucky I'm so hyper or I'd be huge I'm sure.) Anyway, I had a line up (in no particular order) of what I looked forward to putting in my mouth when I got home: fountain served Pepsi, Taco Bell (grilled stuffed burrito - no beans, no guacamole, extra beef), dark chocolate M&Ms, Bruegger's Bagels (rosemary olive oil bagel with light herb garlic cream cheese), Haagen Daz Belgian Chocolate-Chocolate ice cream,  (I could go on, but it may get boring or I may need to take a break and dash to the mall). I was afraid I'd come home and gorge myself. So far, so good. This is, in part, due to the healing properties Falls Church has on me. 

When I first lived in Falls Church in 2009 I was in my own personal boot camp. (You can read about it in my first blog called "If I Can.") Basically I started eating better, exercising regularly, praying daily again and studying. The first morning back recently I went for a walk along a trail I frequented when I lived here before. There was a moment (unsolicited) in which I felt a small wave or sensation drape over me and I knew I was going to be alright. I knew I would maintain the discipline I hoped to. 

One of my favorite local trees. I don't know what kind it is, I just love the wood; it looks rich.

Immediately I thought of the Bible story about the pool of Bethesda. Many sick or in some way physically unwell lay around this pool waiting for an angel to stir the water. Whoever got into the water first after the angel stirred it would be healed. I guess that, as I walked down that path that first morning, it was a bit of a Pavlovian response. Long ago I established Falls Church as a place of self improvement. Even though I've been away twice for years it is still a magical place that enables me to be what I most strive to be. I have succeeded here before; that success will continue today.

Four Mile Run Stream

It's only been two days, but I've already had small victories like ordering salmon instead of the french dip and fries and water instead of Pepsi. I'm seeing the importance of practice and forming habits. In the two years that I lived in these apartments I can count on my fingers how many times I took the elevator - due to luggage or an excessive amount of groceries. I am currently living on the seventh floor and automatically take the stairs.

I'll be living in this area longer this time - at least two years, quite possibly three - so I need some goals so I can ride this tide of betterment. One goal is to learn my way around. I never did in the past, in part, because of the amount of time required to study language. This time I don't have that excuse. Douglas and I'll likely be living in Silver Spring, Maryland while he works in D.C. proper. I've heard of an urban orienteering group I may join.

I failed to achieve my one goal I set for living in Munich. I did not finish my novel. I'm disappointed in myself because of that. If I don't finish it while living here I don't know what I'll do. I did form some good writing habits in Munich so I'll use those to move forward.

I'm planning on teaching piano again so I'll set some goals for my practice - memorizing pieces for example.

In Munich I had the English Garden to walk through; in Silver Spring we'll have Wheaton Regional Park and Rock Creek Park. (Douglas and I have had fun with Rock Creek Park in our search for the perfect neighborhood. We like the idea of living near a park, but we are fans of NCIS and know how many people get killed in Rock Creek Park. So we always say, "Not Rock Creek Park! People get killed there." In reality, between 2002 - when Chandra Levy was found dead there - and 2013 there were no murders in the park. I guess that's comforting.)

There is an ornamental tree garden along part of the path I walk on.

A detail from the tree.