Still Rising

Of all my posts, this one may be the one that most fits with my blog title, As I Rise. I recently spent three weeks in Phoenix helping out my parents. My poor mother fell and broke her shoulder. She already suffers with diabetes and arthritis so a fall like this affects her entire body. She has fallen before and broken bones so each time, in her own words, she bounces back a little less.

When I arrived in Phoenix she was in a rehabilitation facility being cared for by pretty good people. Her insurance company was under the delusion that two weeks is enough time for an 83 year old woman to recover from a broken shoulder and be done with physical therapy. Do these people know how long a broken bone takes to heal on a younger, fitter person?

Bringing her home was not a viable option. My father, feeling the affects of age, is no longer strong enough to give her the help she needs. Neither of my parents want to leave their home of about 60 years. Understandable. So I needed to find affordable in-home health care. A man who is an agent for such care visited with me and mom and, after talking with us, said that he felt that in-home care was not enough at this point. That left the rather immediate need to find another facility where she could stay and recuperate and regain enough strength to return home. I had three days.

We considered leaving mom where she was, as that was an option. You'll soon find out why we're glad we didn't do that.

I met with a woman the rehabilitation center recommended. Her name is Sue Royer (602-663-4000). She proved to be a gem. She met with me and mom, assessed her needs and desires and found a place about seven miles from their house so that it would be easy for dad to visit. I visited the house with Sue and got a good feeling about it. It is a ranch-style house that has been converted into a long-term care facility. It is run by kind, loving, knowledgeable Filipino women who laugh easily, care, cook delicious food and take their jobs seriously. Part of my good feeling came from the fact that when Sue walked into the house she knew some of the residents and they knew her. There are eight other elderly women living there who were sitting in the living room alert and engaged. Mom had the option of sharing a room or having a private room. She chose to have a private room.

Let me insert here that if any of my readers ever find themselves needing to find a place for an elderly person to live, find a senior placement agent like Sue. She was invaluable.

We moved mom into her new room after a harrowing last night at the rehabilitation center. I got a call from mom around 7:30. She needed assistance and no one was answering her call light. Her emergency call light. I won't go into too many details, but this is something I'd already discussed with staff there. When I visited it took them as long as 10 minutes to respond. "Do you realize that she's diabetic?" I asked. "Do you understand what an emergency is?" I asked. Well that night, after waiting a half hour or so and calling the only extension within the facility she knew (the kitchen where no one was) mom called me. Mom's body may be failing her, but her mind serves her quite well, thank you very much. I had just returned home from having visited her. She had pushed the call light before I left and someone responded. It turns out this person turned off the light and said she'd be back. She didn't return until after I got there and walked up and down the halls shouting for help. Mom wasn't in danger; it was the principle. I'm glad mom is in the house she's in now.

So how does all this fit in with my blog theme, 'As I Rise'? Some of the things that I had to deal with in Phoenix include setting up transportation for mom to and from appointments and her new (temporary) home, trying to talk some sense into her insurance company to cover more than two weeks of rehabilitation and setting up powers of attorney - all new territory for me. (Did I mention that Douglas and I were in the middle of buying a house? I had to sign over power of attorney to Douglas so he could sign in my absence.)

Usually when I go to Phoenix I'm enjoying Mexican food every other day, visiting friends, dashing off to See's Candy for a fix. Not this time. I could not believe how many errands there were to do. I also marveled at my energy. I was on the job, focused. I have a notebook with more notes than I've taken since German class. I was organized. I had to be. I put off nothing. I hadn't the leisure. And I came away with the realization that, when I'm given full reign, I can accomplish a lot.

This is big for me. This is something I wish I had come to decades ago. At least I made it.

I have spent my life doubting and second guessing myself. I have taken on jobs where people criticize and question my methods, discouraging me and sucking all desire to help out of me. This has left me very hesitant to take on anything I don't know with certainty that I can do. This last trip to Phoenix changed that.

I've had few other experiences like this in my life: getting to know God, marrying Douglas and storytelling. Perhaps in another blog I'll expound on those. Comment if you'd like to hear about the difference these three things have made in my life, that will prod me along. After a particularly enlightening prayer time or storytelling session I ask myself, "How can I hold onto this? How can I make this grow?" So now I reflect on Phoenix and ask myself those same questions.

So far I've told Douglas that I want a more active role in matters of the home like finances. What have I actually done? I'm a bit limited as we are two out of three shipments into moving into the house. I must sort through things, decide what to keep, what to donate and what to try and sell. I figured out how to list a dress I want to sell on Craig's list with a picture. (We purposefully bought a small house so we'd have to pare down our possessions.) I took on a challenge with a friend to write 1,700 words a day in the month of November. (I'm editing this November 13; so far, so good.) Writing is something that often gets pushed aside when there is so much going on. I have interest in my novel from a book scout in Germany so I must move forward with it and finish it. Douglas and I are budgeting and I must shop and cook smartly. That coupled with limited space means I must plan. (Those of you who really know me - stop laughing. It can happen.) I realize the importance of long-term health care insurance. I called Douglas from Phoenix and told him we've procrastinated long enough and need to buy it this year. And I've decided that I must do push-ups, sit-ups, squats and/or plies every day. (Notice the lack of update on this matter.) I see what my parents are going through physically I don't want to lose too much strength. If I do, I don't want it to be due to complacency or laziness. If I lose it, so help me, it will be due to injury or illness. Though I've set the bar rather low, 10 each per day, I'm still not doing it daily. Feel free to comment in the future, Laura, are you doing your push-ups?

One last thing. Those of you who read my "If I Can" blog remember how instrumental visualization was for me. I came away from Phoenix seeing myself having done all that I did and that makes it easier to see myself doing the more every-day things like finding my way around a new city, researching free, engaging activities for Douglas and I to do in the D.C. area, acquainting myself with my political representatives and begin writing them. (I have written to my senators and representative.) Maybe even buying my own long-term health insurance. (Looked into it, got mad, walked away; will likely give in this weekend and get it.)



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